A Different Season

It’s been a busy time these past couple of years. I haven’t written much. Not like I want to, not like I’d like to. And that’s a funny thing, you know? We say that writers write. If you’re a writer, you don’t just want to write, you do write. Maybe that’s true. We generally follow our passions. If your passion is really writing, then you’re probably going to find a way to do it.

So, why haven’t I been writing? It isn’t because it isn’t a passion. But I guess you could say that it hasn’t been the biggest thing. It hasn’t been the most important thing. When I wake up in the morning, it isn’t the first thing I think of. When I go to sleep at night, it isn’t the last thing I think of. So, I guess you could argue that I’m not being passionate about it. And I guess that would be okay.

Before I go any further, I do want to say that I am working on the next book in the series, it is just going much more slowly than I would like. But the detours have been… necessary.

The past three years or so have been revolutionary for me. I have been on a journey to discover who I am. I have been like an archeologist digging away the earth to reveal the identity buried beneath. I have been scooping away the dirt and brushing away the dust and wiping away the grime. I have been revealing things that have been hidden – hidden from others and hidden from myself. It is a long and arduous process. It is painstaking and painful. But it is indescribably rewarding both to myself and to my family.

The reason I’m telling you all of this is because my blog is changing. If you look through the paltry number of posts, you’ll see that the vast majority has something to do with writing. That’s okay, I suppose – except that it isn’t really what I think my blog should be. I mean, even at the very top, it says, “See the writer’s life. In real time.” Well, writing tips aren’t my life. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they are in the forefront of my attention because I’m learning some lesson or figuring something out or making some mistake. But they aren’t all of who I am. And I want my blog to be about who I am and what I think about things and about how I feel about things.

I guess you could call this a rebirth. It is the beginning of something new. You are going to see things that weren’t there before. You’ll see my faith, and you’ll see my struggles. In short you’re going to see who I am. Maybe no one will read it. Maybe no one will care. I need to be okay with that. I need to write it for myself, even if no one comes.

Does this mean that I’m going to be a dutiful little blogger? Probably not, even though I’d like to be. That’s another problem I’ve got: I’m not the most disciplined person in the world. But it is an opportunity to do things differently – to begin again, so to speak.

Speaking of change, that is almost certainly a topic I will explore. But I digress. I’m not here for that, at least right now. My goal for this moment is just to draw a line in the sand. And I did. So here goes.